


Breaking

by DRHPaints



Series: Willy and Suzy [4]
Category: Bill Hader - Fandom, The To Do List (2013)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Break up sex, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26985865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints
Summary: Suzy ponders whether or not it’s time to end things with Willy.
Relationships: Willy McLean/Original Female Character
Series: Willy and Suzy [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969177
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	Breaking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pockets_full_of_posies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pockets_full_of_posies/gifts).



> Credit for this series concept and some of the lines in this work go to pockets_full_of_posies to whom this fic is gifted. Check out their writing, you won’t regret it!

Water filling the sink, Suzy turned off the faucet. Dipping her hands in with the first plate, she discovered it was a touch too hot, but didn’t pull back, choosing to grimace instead. Willy sat at the kitchen table, perusing a comic book and occasionally chuckling to himself.

After over a year of living together, neither one of them wanted to say it aloud. It wasn’t working. It wasn’t that they fought. Suzy and Willy didn’t argue, really. Instead Suzy would come home from the grocery store, stench of weed apparent before she even opened the door, to find Willy parked on the couch, eyes red and controller in his hand as he played through one video game or another.

Suzy would sigh heavily. “Willy…”

Blinking blearily up at her, Willy would raise an eyebrow. “What?”

It wasn’t even particularly tense between them. Perhaps they didn’t care enough for that. Or maybe they cared too much, afraid that if an eye were widened, a nose were flared, a voice were raised, the truth would bubble up from the darkness and they would have to admit that which neither one of them wanted to say.

Over the summer Suzy thought it might be getting better. Steady paycheck from his job at the pool, things weren’t quite as tight financially and she would spend her days off lounging with him in the sun, poking fun at the summer attendees and splashing around in the water, their lives seemingly careless.

But as the days grew shorter, the silences between them extended. One unseasonably frigid day in late September, Willy suggested they take a trip back to the beach.

It was the scene of one of their first dates. Willy surprised her that day by packing a makeshift picnic, leading Suzy to a secluded lakeside where the sunbaked sand radiated under their toes as they spread out their blanket and languidly munched on the assorted offerings in the basket. Making love out in the open, as Suzy’s screams echoed among the trees she never felt so free, so beautiful as she did in that moment in Willy’s arms as the sky, almost an alarming shade of blue, blossomed above her, interrupted only by the passing of a few curious seagulls.

Willy took his apple core and together they dug a small hole in the sand, burying it deep, four hands patting over the tiny mound with wide smiles and joined fingers. They knew it was silly, that it would never take root and was no better than tossing it in the lake, but Willy and Suzy didn’t care as they huddled together, sound of lapping waves lulling her as she rested on his firm chest and they watched the sunset dapple over the water in a thousand sparkling colors.

Going back, hoodies zipped up to their chins and briskly rubbing their hands together, gray clouds hovered overhead as Willy lifted the cooler from the trunk. They stumbled toward the beach, mouths flat, neither of them brave enough to say the words etched on their minds. _Why don’t we just go home? I don’t want to be here._

Arriving at the spot, Suzy gasped, pointing a finger. A tree. There was a tree. Dropping the food, she and Willy approached it cautiously, as if it were something dangerous, rabid. Suzy extended her hand, touching the one leaf fluttering on the wind. It was barely above their knees, but it was there. It was real. Proof of the beautiful day they spent together in each other’s arms.

Willy squeezed her arm, wide grin spreading over his handsome features, and Suzy smiled back. Whipping out his pocket knife, Willy held the slender branch firm, and as it was so narrow, carved a ‘S+W’ sideways into its tender flesh. Suzy beamed at him, tipping up to capture Willy’s pink lips as his arm surrounded her.

But as Willy shook out the blanket, anchoring it against the autumn breeze with the cooler, Suzy took in the tree and her smile faded.

Tiny, sickly, it stood alone in the sand, nothing to shield it from the harsh winds coming off the lake. An apple tree didn’t belong there. Growing up on infirm foundation, its roots were shallow and Suzy doubted its branches would ever bear fruit. Staring at the letters representing their names, Suzy never before noticed that they stood for two different directions.

An irrational part of her wanted to grab the tree, tear it from its hole and toss the sapling into the brush with a scream, punishing its existence for mocking her as she shivered on a beach with a man she no longer knew. 

Suzy thought maybe she never did as they huddled over their meal, eating hastily as she snuggled into Willy’s body for warmth. Finally they gave up and went home, neither talking much on the drive as the uneasiness inside Suzy grew.

Uncertain if she wanted to end things, but certain she didn’t want to do it over the holidays, Suzy waited until after Christmas to broach the subject among her friends. They proved to be no help at all. Half of them told her to drop Willy, that he was a deadbeat who was holding her back. The other half said he was cute, sweet and Suzy was lucky to have found a man who treated her with such kindness. 

Suzy couldn’t help but notice that the latter opinions belonged to her younger acquaintances and the former to her older. Stuck in the middle, she was at a loss. The problem was she saw equal merit in both sides of the argument.

In August, increasingly frustrated by the monotony of passing food over a laser and forcing her voice an octave higher to interact with customers, Suzy enrolled in school. Sure, it was only online courses at the local community college and she limited herself to three classes while working full time, but Suzy was determined to somehow parlay it into a career in writing.

But Willy...Willy seemed to be standing still. Suzy attempted to encourage him in his music. For his birthday she even bought him a new bass. Well, actually a heavily used bass from a friend of hers who graciously traded Suzy in exchange for some jewelry she never wore, but anyway. And Willy did play it. Some. But talk about putting a band together with the guys, or possibly seeking out affordable lessons never came to fruition. Something inside of Willy was determined to dormancy. He was apparently quite satisfied with his station in life, and no matter how much gentle coaxing Suzy did, he remained stationary.

But then Suzy reminded herself of Willy’s redeeming qualities. Willy would leave her messages in the steam of the bathroom mirror. Sometimes a simple _‘I love you’_ that made her smile as she got ready for work. Sometimes a paragraph of absolute filth that made her blush and chuckle, and she had to remind herself to clean the glass, just in case they had a guest over.

Suzy was surprised when they first moved in how much Willy pitched in around the apartment. When he began, Willy could barely make macaroni and cheese, but still, he would serve it to her when she got off of a ten hour shift, beaming as he passed her the pepper.

But then, with his extended free time, Willy started watching cooking shows. It took a while, not to mention several burnt fingers and Willy frantically waving a pillow below the smoke alarm muttering, “ _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.”_ But eventually he taught himself how to whip up a handful of solid dishes, always presenting Suzy with a hot meal as soon as she walked in the door.

And though their conversations grew tedious, repetitive, and often died away altogether in the last few months, Suzy had to admit that as soon as the lights were out, she and Willy had no difficulty communicating with their bodies. 

If anything the heat between them grew, unvented aggravation at each other, at their situation gathering in their fingertips and clawing at one another’s skin, mouths hungry, seeking to recapture a flavor lost to their lips.

Willy’s hands, his touch, the weight of him on top of her, how his stubble never failed to leave her thighs chafed, the soft noises he would make as their bodies joined, all made Suzy ponder if they could cram themselves together into something resembling a happy life.

But as Suzy stared at the plate in her hand, half washed, she turned to Willy again, flipping a page at the table. He appeared far away. Was he ever close? Or was Willy, was their relationship, just a mirage? Shimmering hopefully on the edge of Suzy’s vision, promising things it could never fulfill.

“Willy…” Suzy‘s voice eked out, hands in the water that was merely warm now. “I…” Clearing her throat, Suzy shook her head. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Glancing up, Willy furrowed his brow. “What? You want me to finish the dishes?”

“No.” Locking into his sapphire eyes, Suzy took a deep breath. “This. Us. I…” Swallowing hard, Suzy fought the urge to turn away from him, to hide. “I think I’m done.”

Face settling, Willy slowly placed his comic book on the table. “Suzy…” Swiveling toward her, Willy opened his mouth. But as her viridescent gaze stared back at him, Willy realized there was nothing he could say. No defense. No argument. Nothing that could convince the woman before him that they should stay together. And perhaps nothing that would convince him, either. 

“Alright…” Gritting his teeth, the muscle in Willy’s jaw flickered as he rested his hands on his knees, head bobbing slightly.

Plate still gripped between her fingers, Suzy shifted her weight. “...I’m sorry.”

Shaking his head, Willy offered a weak smile. “Don’t be.” Folding his bottom lip under, he looked away and nodded. “I...I never expected it to last this long, honestly.”

Eyes falling shut, Suzy gripped the sink, trying to avoid the sting of tears. “You can, um…” Tremulous voice betraying her, she blinked rapidly. “You can stay...until you...you know, find somewhere…”

Throat tight, Willy nodded. “Thank you.” 

Silent for a moment, they faced opposite walls, staring and breathing.

“Okay, I’m…” Willy stood, vast shoulders curled inward and head down. “I’m gonna go to Rusty’s for a bit.”

Suzy just nodded, not trusting herself to speak. As Willy passed, his lengthy fingers ghosted over her shoulder, and Suzy’s salty tears joined the dingy dishwater.

Suzy lay sleepless in the darkness of their bedroom when she heard Willy come in, softly closing the door behind him. She waited, but his familiar footsteps didn’t echo down the hallway, and the creak of the couch greeted her instead.

Holding the pillow to herself, Suzy exhaled slowly before swinging her feet off the mattress, padding her way to the living room. Somehow Willy’s body appeared so small, curled up on the cushions with no blanket to cover him. Resting a hand on his broad shoulder, Willy turned to face her, and for the first time Suzy suspected it wasn’t the marijuana which made his eyes red as she extended her fingers.

Following her back to their room, Willy silently joined her under the covers in all of his clothes. Suzy couldn’t meet his piercing cobalt gaze as she linked their lips together. There was no urgency behind the kiss, no fire. And there was no casual, languid desire, either. Instead their mouths wove a tale of sorrow. Of regret. Of times spent and time lost and not knowing if it was worth it as Willy rolled on top of her, one hand burying itself in the mass of her hair, the other tugging off her shorts and panties.

Suzy reached down to unzip his jeans, unearthing his cock and pumping lightly, afraid to part from Willy’s mouth, afraid of the things she might say as she spread her legs beneath him.

Willy entered her quietly, fingers delicately spinning between her legs as the wave of his body rose and fell to meet hers again and again. Hand fisted in his silky hair, Suzy wondered how many times. How many times were they together? How many times did they become a ball of writhing, whispering flesh; adoring hands and endearing words shared as they raced toward ecstasy?

Unable to help herself, Suzy broke away, moaning, eyes closed and nails digging into Willy’s shirt, his scent engulfing her. Weed and mahogany and somehow still chlorine even all these months later. The idea that his smell might be all that remained of Willy in her life soon made her throat cinch, and soft cheek scraping his stubble, she whispered, “ _Willy.”_

Suzy constricted around him and Willy worried. He worried it would be the last time. The last time he would hear Suzy’s voice crying out his name. The last time Suzy would shudder and shake beneath him. The last time he would get to hold her.

Arms snaking underneath her, one large hand cradled her head close, while the other gripped under her hip. Willy drove himself into her warmth, strong arms clutching her so tight Suzy struggled to breathe, but she didn’t want to ask him to let go. 

“I’m going to miss you so much…” Willy whispered against her ear, swirling inside of her as Suzy rose to meet his every stroke.

“Me too.” She breathed into his skin, brushing a kiss to the spot below his ear where his jaw met his neck, a spot she dearly loved.

Pulling away, Willy stared into her with his oceanic eyes as he rolled his hips forward. Combing back her hair, Willy opened his mouth. _Then let me stay._ He nearly uttered. _Keep me._

But Willy knew that wasn’t fair. If he asked her now, in this moment, Suzy would probably say yes. She would allow him further passage into her body, her home, her life. And they would only end up right back here in a few months time.

So Willy lowered his mouth to hers, and as his movements hastened and the whimpers parted his lips, tears dripped down his nose onto her face. Willy was tempted to turn, to bury himself in the crook of her neck, to hide his woe. But he refused to miss the final evidence of Suzy’s rapture. 

Eyelids fluttering, mouth parted, and brow gathered, she called his name, and Willy bit his lip as she fused around him, not to prolong their passion, but to prevent himself speaking the words: _I’m right here. Don’t leave me._

Scooping her close, Willy thundered inside of her and all of Suzy’s limbs snapped shut around him. She knew they had to part, that their end was near, but for that moment, Suzy needed to forget. Needed to forget that there was nothing to look forward to any longer. Needed to forget that there wouldn't be another morning waking up to Willy’s crooked, goofy grin and his big hands on her skin. Needed to forget Willy was a separate being as they pulsed together, desperately clinging to a forgotten dream.

Willy wanted it to last, to go on forever, but the whines gathered in his throat, sounding almost like sobs as his movements grew erratic before he froze in Suzy’s arms. “ _Suzy, Suzy, Suzy_ …” Whispering her name like an unanswered prayer, Willy quivered and fell still.

Their slick cheeks glided past one another and Suzy didn’t know if the trembling in her body was the aftereffect of passion or the threat of oncoming grief as Willy’s breath hitched above her and he trickled his fingers through her hair.

Removing himself, Willy did up his jeans and curled to face the wall. Suzy retrieved her underwear, and seeing Willy’s outline, all his beautiful strong edges and soft curves, she reached a hand out for half a second before letting it fall to the mattress. It wouldn’t be right to hold him. Not now, she thought. If she did, Suzy feared her arms wouldn’t release him come daylight.

Back to his, the gulf between them stretched out in the darkness as, faces wet, Willy and Suzy waited for sleep to claim them.

They awkwardly danced around one another. Staggering their appearances so as not to have to interact. Then one day, Suzy came home from work and instantly she knew. Willy was gone. It wasn’t the missing Nintendo or the lack of his shoes by the door. It was a current on the air, an absent whisper, that told Suzy she was alone.

Setting down her purse, Suzy spotted a picture on the counter. Lifting it, she brought a hand to her mouth. It was her and Willy from the day at the beach, the day of their picnic and the buried apple core. She’d forgotten he even took the picture, both of them laying on the blanket, Willy’s lips smushed to her forehead, one oceanic eye smiling at her as his arm held out the camera to capture her laughing against his firm chest.

Eyes glassy, Suzy turned it over, and on the back Willy wrote: _Enchiladas in the fridge. I’ll miss you. Love, Willy_

Suzy knew it was right to let Willy go. Knew things needed to end. But on that January day in her abandoned kitchen, Suzy clutched the photo of her and Willy to her chest, back sinking down her counter, and sobbed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed this story, please leave a comment or come say hi on tumblr at fandomtransmandom. I also take requests!


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